“you’re a cowboy like me—perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear.”

https://open.spotify.com/track/52OkpDsU6MmPx1AwGOb6Ap?si=YjosM5KtRGS6yeP-TFia-A

Picture a bar, somewhere in the midst of Jakarta’s buzz; January 2024.

“Another one bites the dust?”

“Another one bites the dust.”

Friday night meant another Alexaventure—that’s how Derian liked to call it—in which she came to meet the men who matched her on dating apps in this very bar, where Derian worked as the head bartender. Before the man of the hour arrived they would decipher his dating app profile, and it’s the part Derian loved the most because he always hit the bullseye with every evaluation.

The math was easy, tho: the one didn’t exist, but the possibility of meeting disappointment was limitless.

As far as the date went, it never left the actual arena. Most of the times Alexa’s dates were only capable of either making poor excuses to leave early and then acted as though they never existed in the first place, or they challenged Alexa’s creativity in making better excuses to end the game. While ghost still haunted houses; these men then just evaporated from the face of the earth.

When the odds were looking good, Alexa and Derian would bet on how far the date was going to progress—and it’s ranging from them bolting after one glass until earning the chance to bring Alexa home. In most cases, the last one almost never happened, and it’s not because they didn’t deserve it; it’s because Alexa was still haunted by one ghost.

Like tonight—the man was decent and all; he looked exactly like his profile, he dressed to the occasion, and his choice of drink was excellent (according to Derian’s judgement). He also had a driver, if he were to take Alexa home. He was clever, had wits, and at the end of the date, he passed with flying colors.

However when the clock stroke 11, Alexa was seen alone in the bar.

Derian sighed in exasperation. “They didn’t bite the dust when there’s no battle to fight.”

“Well… They should consider this a training ground, perhaps?”

“What happened? I thought he was decent. I heard some of his jokes and believe me, if you weren’t my cousin and if he were gay, I would take him for myself.”

Alexa scoffed. “So much for raising one’s bar, you already lost your pants on clever puns.”

“Girl?? I went home with a guy for less than that.”

“So… stupid puns?”

Derian made a zipping gesture with his fingers over his lips. “So, tell me, why did we lose this one?”

“Too… kind.”