“coz I don’t know if I can compete with the former crowned head of your old Ford’s front seat.”

https://open.spotify.com/track/5SwdrJLtyFyC926bXw5PCz?si=0479e26631ce4c03

Early August, 2024.

Sunday was a family-visit day, and instead of church, Alexa had devoted her Sunday morning to be spent here: sitting side-by-side with her father on his favorite bench under the oak tree.

The park was lovely, but its location was an irony.

The doctor asked her to bring something during her visit that could trigger his memory, so she brought a book this time. Just like how she had expected it, her father was slightly intrigued at the sight of the book. If there’s one thing that hadn’t changed about him, it was his fondness of reading. They used to have a small library at home, and that’s where Alexa loved to spend her days the most. She barely had any friends, but her imagination was limitless.

After her mother passed away, she donated everything away.

Her father reached out for the book and she smiled as she gave it to them. She brought Puspa Geni today, the one that Puspa gave her. “Do you remember this book? It’s Mom’s favorite.”

He didn’t answer her. He flicked through the pages and stopped in the middle; he read few sentences, and then he was back at flicking through the pages again.

“Funny thing was, I gave away all of Mom’s collection, but then I met the author of this very book and she gave me an original copy of it. Can you imagine what Mom would say if she knew? Excited would be an understatement. She would be all over the moon.” She sighed a heavy breath. “At least… She’s over the moon for real, now.”

Remembering her mother was an agony, but if she didn’t want to remember her, who would?

Alexa sighed. Her father’s condition got steady after he was treated in this place, but it didn’t improve. As though he was stuck at one point in time and unable to move either backward or forward. He was just there, swallowed by his grief, and then his copping mechanism tried to reduce its pain by keeping everything inside a box—including his memories—and stored it away. By the time he was suppose to retract it, he couldn’t find the boxes.

So he became a shell of lost memories.

“Alexa? Is that you?”

Alexa looked up, and her heart was on her throat when she realized who just called her name.

“Tante Puspa?”

Puspa looked at Alexa, and then at Alexa’s father. She was standing with a help of a cane, and despite the makeup she put on her face, she looked somewhat pale and frail. Her face was filled with concern and confusion, but she tried to restrain herself from asking. “What are you doing here, anak cantik?”

Alexa turned her head to her father, and then back to Puspa again. “Tante, kenalin. Ini Papa.”

Puspa seemed to be taken aback by Alexa’s answer. “Oh, Lex… I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”