“if our love died young, I can’t bear witness; and it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong—I’m right where you left me.”

https://open.spotify.com/track/3zwMVvkBe2qIKDObWgXw4N?si=356uM8jyTKazuLZ5KUxHbA

She did save me a seat.

I can see an empty chair next to where Madre is seated. The restaurant is in a dim light, but just right; everyone’s talking, the sound of spoon and plate crashing, laughters in every corner of the room. Somehow, I feel like an alien who just landed on earth.

But there she is; beaming. She’s laughing and her face lights up with joy and something else I have never seen, and for the first time in life I curse myself for I’ve lost all the chances I ever had at the grip of my hand to become the source of that kind of expression.

Stupid Miles. Regret always comes last.

I’m about to leave the restaurant when Antares catches me at the corner of his eyes. He says something and then Oceanna turns her head to me—and I smile, automatically. I don’t know what kind of feelings I just cause in her—certainly, not happiness. I guess that’s just not my forte.

She walks to my direction—her expression is still unreadable. I have no choice other than to face her. “Hi, Oceanna.”

“Fuck you, Miles Segara.”

I laugh at her first remark. “I miss you too, silly.”

“I’m not trying to be funny.”

“I know. I just know you. It’s your way of saying i-miss-you.”

I see tears start to form in the corner of her eyes and I’m panicking. Great. Not only you threw away all the chances you’ve ever got, now you make her cry instead. What a gentleman you are, Miles Segara.

“We’re still up for a conversation? I’m sorry, but I cannot stay long. I have to meet Ramiel too after this, we have something to do tomorrow. Or maybe whatever you want to tell me, can it wait?”

Oceanna takes my hand and drag me to the back side of the restaurant, where there are just the two of us. The air is cold, and she’s still not smiling like how she was before she saw me. The sound of people talking starts to fade away, and it’s quiet now. Unless she can hear my heartbeat.

“Have you read my text?”

“Yes, I read it on the way here.”

She’s staring at her shoes, and for the life of me, I know that she cannot bring herself to say the one thing she has to say—to hurt me. So I’ll do her a favor.

“It’s okay, Ce. I know.” I smile weakly at her. “I know you’ll be happy with him.”

“He asks me to come to Paris with him.”