“Time doesn’t play a factor when you’re at my side; underneath the moonlight you open my sky and you open my mind—so bright.”

https://open.spotify.com/track/4VjZq6G18ZBcuxACqbldyL?si=CxzYlFmKRfOIOrrRu00sjQ

Have you ever had a fever dream?

I guess I had it last night. It was kinda blurry, but I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought I saw her and I literally begged her to let me love her. Kinda… embarrassing, now that I recall it, so I should be grateful that it all wasn’t real.

I hope she’s giving up about us wasn’t real too, but I cannot have too much of a good thing, apparently.

I touch my forehead, my whole body is feverish and it feels like I’ve been beaten up by a village and I want to throw up, and I do, but nothing comes out since I haven’t eaten anything now that I recall. Damn, I can’t afford to be sick right now, not with this tight schedule. So I get up to get my medicine from the kitchen’s cabinet.

Someone is in there, sitting on the kitchen counter.

I squint my eyes and apparently she is peeling something round, and as I come closer, I wonder if I’m still having my fever dream coz no way June Kailani is in my kitchen, peeling pomegranate.

“Oh, you woke up? How are you feeling?” She rushes to get up and she reaches for me, her hand is on my forehead, my cheeks, my neck. It feels real, she looks real; but she also did last night so I can’t believe my eyes

I raise my hand and to my surprise, she feels real. Unlike last night—I can touch her.

“Ini… beneran kamu?”

“Hah? Ya masa boongan… Kamu masih demam ya?” She puts her hand on my forehead again and frowns before she pushes me back to the bedroom. “Go back to lying down, I’ll get you the meds.”

Was I always this creative in narrating my own dream? Coz I’m starting to think that this dream is kinda lucid. What do you mean I can hold a conversation with her (her voice is gentle), I can feel her (her skin is soft), and now she’s back in my room with a glass of water in one hand and something else in the other hand?

“Minum dulu obatnya, semalem aku cuma bisa kompres doang karena kamu ga sadar-sadar aku bangunin. You’ll feel better later.”

I obey as I gulp down the water and the meds, and holy shit, it also tastes real. “Ini beneran Juni bukan, sih?”

“Iya, Miles, astaga… You’re not dreaming.” She reaches out for my hand and puts it on her cheek. “It’s me.”

Her skin is soft, and a little bit cold, but her gaze is warm and her tone is kind. I feel like just coming down from a mountain and feel a little bit disoriented for staring too long at the sun. Everything feels surreal, yet evident. Her scent. Her smile. Her presence.

I touch her again, and she feels the same. So it’s not a dream.

“Why are you here?”