“I’m a mess; but I’m the mess that you wanted.” taylor swift — dancing with our hands tied

https://open.spotify.com/episode/48nXlcKYcnc0IbqxdSAzlJ?si=CVaobEO3Sdqb_vmyu-Ke5Q

I cannot believe it. I can’t fucking believe it.

Antares is here.

Miles and I were walking outside the lobby when there he was, standing in front of the hall with his luggage. He’s just as shocked when he saw me—but that didn’t tone down the thunder above my head.

He came to us—with smile on his face—and he said hi. He asked where we’d go, and after few unnecessary chitchat, he let us go our way.

And I didn’t know what kind of gravity pulled me—I halted Miles midway. I apologized to him and he gave me an understanding look.

“It’s okay, you can talk to him. Go.”

And here I am now, with Antares Milardi, in a quiet restaurant alongside Clarke Quay.

“What happened to taking things slow?”

He shoots an apologetic look at me as he gulfs down his champagne. “I apologize.”

“No need to. I’m just… Surprised, to say the least. You could’ve told me. And in all honesty, I feel bad for Miles too. We had plans.”

“I don’t ask you to come with me. I’ve told you to go with him, right? I also didn’t expect you’d come back and cancel your plans. I was just about to go up to my floor when I bumped into you.”

I feel like my anger slowly resides upon hearing his answer. I soon realize how much I hate surprises; and to be more exact, I hate to be unprepared. Maybe it’s the chef DNA in me or something but believe me—when you’re in the field, the thing you should never hope for is surprises.

“What are you doing here, tho?”

He smiles slightly as he plays with his glass, and I realize he’s trying to avoid my eyes somehow. “I hope you’re okay with this but I told my Father about us and our… current situation. And—well, he gave me pretty much a three-hours sermon on how I should fight for what I want. Then he redirected the flight to Singapore without me knowing and… kinda dumped me here. Believe me, even until I reached Raffles and bumped into you, I still didn’t know what I was doing; but when I saw you with Miles, I knew instantly. My Father was right.”

I fall into silence as I hear Antares’ confession. In all honesty… I would do what he did. I would cross ocean and continents if that’s what it takes to fight for the love of my life. For the first time, I suddenly recognize this love.

It’s so close to Padre’s.

Padre is loud about his admiration towards me, his only daughter. So much that at one point in life, his love had restrained my relationship with my own mother. She always said that Padre loves me more than he loves her; and at first I thought that was a joke. Of course it was different kind of love. Until one day Padre suddenly appeared unannounce after I called him in the middle of the night, crying; I was in the middle of great depression during my first months in Paris and I wished he was there.

He came. And I just knew few days later that Madre was actually sick when he left for Paris—when he left for me. I was mad as hell but Madre told me, “That is your Father that I know. He would leave anything behind for the things he loves the most. You are our greatest creation, Oceanna. I’m not mad with his priority; I should be thankful. Because that way you’d know you should never settle less than what your father had shown you.”