“God, I love you—says not one of us ever.” dodie — no big deal (I love you)

https://open.spotify.com/track/71kcVvSxf0QVp2uto4EsHn?si=i-mFv-8lS3q72Ge9_yE3JQ

Cea always likes how Miles’ car smells. She was never a fan of leathery scent but inside Miles’ car, it’s different. There’s a hint of pine trees and iris in between the mixture of musky leather and Miles’ body odor, and sometimes Cea just makes up whatever reason so she can stay inside a little bit longer. This scent traces back to the first time Miles picked up Cea, with the first car he bought with his own money. Cea can still recall his prideful face—unknown to the fact that he’d become so big the next year after that.

This scent also changes her mind tonight. She was tired but now she wants to just… drive. Wherever.

“Kok udah mulai kerja? Gue kira besok.”

Cea fastens her seat belt and adjusts her seat before she answers. “Iya, dia tadi sampe lebih awal dari jadwal dan kebetulan dinner on the plane nggak ada yang fit his diet. Pas gue lagi free juga, sih.”

Miles starts his car. “How is he? Seserem yang apa orang bilang, nggak?”

“I can’t believe it, you too?” Cea tergelak. “Gue kira Bara doang yang mikir dia serem. Ternyata semua orang?”

“Ya, gimana ya… Milardi, gitu.” Miles looks to the map, trying to figure out route with less traffic. “Jadi langsung pulang?”

“Bisa nyetir kemana dulu nggak? Gue tiba-tiba mager langsung pulang. Tapi ga kepengen kemana-mana juga. Just… our typical night drive aja, sih.”

Miles laughs as he searches something on his phone—and then their night drive playlist is played on the speaker. “Gue udah nebak.”

“Ya maap, gue predictable.”

“Tapi jujur gue ga predict lu bakal mau kerja jadi private chef buat Milardi sih, Ce. I mean sekelas lu? Private chef? You should own your own restaurant at this point.”

“I guess I’m never made to commit to anything that big, Miles.” Cea memijit area di antara alisnya, sambil memandang kemacetan jalanan Jakarta yang membentang di depan mereka. “Lebih enak punya project kecil-kecil gini sih. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want it, tanpa perlu terikat ke sesuatu yang sifatnya bener-bener membutuhkan energi gue seutuhnya gitu. I guess that’s why Padre juga nggak kepengen punya restoran sendiri.”

“For how long will you be Antares’ personal chef?”

“Nggak tau…? Sampe dia bosen ama makanan gue, kali.” Suddenly Cea remembers the way Antares undid his tie, and it sends shivers down her spine. She needs to talk about anything else. “Lu ngapain ke Bali?”

“Photoshoot jewelry sama magazine gitu. Awalnya mereka nawarin buat foto di Jakarta aja tapi gue butuh liburan tipis-tipis sih, sekalian dapet kamar di Bvlgari juga. Tadinya gue mau ngajak elu, tapi ternyata lu kerja.”

There’s no such thing as perfect timing when it comes to us huh, Miles? “Lu mau gue dihujat se-Indonesia raya lagi kalau ketauan liburan berdua doang?”

“You care that much? Does it bother you, Ce?”

Cea menghela nafas. “Kadang, iya… It’s such a burden sometimes to have your blue-checked account replying to mine. Gue juga males banget kalau mulai ada nomer-nomer ga jelas yang ngechat nomer kerjaan gue, cuma buat minta gue jauhin elu. Some days it doesn’t bother me, tapi lama-lama gerah aja sih.”