“For all the love you’ve left behind; you can have mine.” iron & wine — call it dreaming

https://open.spotify.com/track/1MxHIIzcTeFnaNsDGY3pfj?si=owNzen57RcWxZIZJyjhUVA

He really dyed his hair dark.

“Does it look good on me?” He asked me with such an innocent smile, not knowing how his new look had made my knees weak. There’s something about him in dark hair—he looked somewhat… approachable? He still had that Greek God traces on him, but he grew softer around the edges.

And more smiley, too. Like he hadn’t stop smiling ever since he picked me up in Grand Lucky, until we arrived in his mansion.

We spent the lunch talking and planning his mealplan; and even tho it was faint, but I felt a sting in my heart after I remembered I was supposed to do Miles’ mealplan as well. I also hated myself for the fact that he’s still in my mind, he’s still in the slightest thing I did, and the recollection came unnoticed, unwanted even. It’s like you’re still withdrawing after being an addict for so long.

Not that I literally knew how it felt, if you catch my drift.

As I’m preparing for dinner, he spent his time inside the studio as always. I was accompanied by Artèmis—who’s always curious about me cooking, typical orange cat behavior—and as we’re approaching dinner time, I wonder if I should take a bath or not.

Damn it. Am I really having a Valentine’s Day dinner? With Antares?

I decide to go to my room to at least clean myself before dinner. Mind you, I never wore chef attire whenever I cook for Antares—coz he asked me to dress just like how I dress on daily basis. So today, I’m just wearing my favorite black blouse and khaki pants. Not fitting for a dinner, actually, but to be honest I don’t know what to wear. If I wear a real dress… It’s also starting to feel real. Me and Antares, I mean.

Am I just trying to withhold the moving-on act? God, I need to constantly remind myself of my own decision.

As I’m entering my room, I freeze at the sight in front of me. A white two-piece halter dress, made of a silky fabric it almost looks like water is hanging beside the mirror; with a pair of silk heels under it.

“I prepared it just in case you want to wear a dress to your first Valentine’s Day dinner.”

Antares’ voice comes from behind me, and I turn back my body only to find him smiling fondly—at me? At the dress? To be honest, I don’t know. I also don’t know how to react to his kind gesture.

“Antares, I…”

“You don’t have to wear it, it’s okay. I’m sorry if it’s too overwhelming; but I just wanted you to have the full experience. I wanted to dine outside too as well at first, but maybe it’s too much of a first step.” He looks at me with a glimpse of shyness in his eyes—and he looks cute like this: when he’s vulnerable and out in the open.

Like I said—I’m gonna give it a try, including this dress.

“I don’t know what kind of love you experienced in the past before, but I can tell that you haven’t been treated the way you deserve. Like I said, you’re a hurricane, Oceanna; and I feel like I want to make sure that hurricane comes to a dinner with the same force—as loud as a thunder. Let me be your thunder, Ce. Let me love you loudly.”